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- Ben Fuchs
There are 3 main types of hormones that can be distinguished by the speed of their activity, that is, how fast they accomplish their effects. The slowest acting ones, called endocrine hormones travel through the blood starting in structures called glands and accomplish their effects when they reach specific cells. Others called exocrine hormones don’t require a blood highway; rather they are squirted via specialized ducts directly into body cavities like the abdomen or through the skin. The digestive system is especially dependent upon these types of hormones as are the so-called pheromones, chemicals of sexual attraction that are secreted cutaneously (of the skin) into the external environment.
The third hormone category is composed of ultra-fast acting substances called autocrine or paracrine hormones, a term that refers to the fact that, while other hormones that travel through the body or external to it, these substances work in the immediate vicinity of the cells that make them. This allows reactions to happen instantaneously without requiring the brain or the nervous system to be involved. One of the most important of these types of hormones is a class of fatty substances called prostaglandins. It’s hard to really appreciate how unbelievably important these things are.
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- Ben Fuchs
If you watch the cartoonish commercials on TV about depression and anti-depressants, you would think that that the molecule known as serotonin is a biochemical of bliss and if you’re feeling crappy, you can just take a medicine that bumps up its effects and voilà, you’ll be happy! On the other hand, if you go to websites like “SSRI stories.com,” which is filled with nightmarish tales about violent behavior, assaults, suicides, suicidal thoughts, murders, and school shootings all associated with SSRIs; or if you read the papers and listen to conspiracy theorists, it’s almost impossible not to be impressed by the link between all of this unpleasantness and drugs that affect serotonin levels. Even the package insert that comes with Prozac and Effexor and Zoloft and other SSRIs pharmaceuticals contain warnings from the purveyors of these poisons about side effects of self-harm and savagery that one would never think would be associated with a drug that’s supposed to make you jump for joy.
So which is it, hormone of happy or hormone of horror? If serotonin is indeed the chemical of calm that you hear about on commercials and if SSRI drugs are indeed the glee-inducing, depression-fighting drugs that your doctor tells you they are, why is that Lilly and Pfizer and all the other manufacturers of these substances are warning patients about side effects like suicide and violent and aggressive behavior?
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- Ben Fuchs
“One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore…”
-Andre Gide
I love my dad. He gave us kids everything he could: love, money and attention. Most of all, he was always there for us when the chips were down. When I was young, I thought my dad knew everything. Unfortunately, as I got older I realized my dad only thought he knew everything. I used to call this condition of all-knowingness “Old Man’s Disease” (OMD). I defined OMD as the mental condition that causes us to believe that we know everything. Sufferers of Old Man’s Disease know how all things were, are and will be. The victims of this affliction can’t be told anything that will change their minds. Like most OMD patients, my dad knew about health, politics, history and how to handle anything household. In fact, when confronted with a conundrum or a challenge, I don’t think I ever heard him say “I don’t know.”
